Your Kansas experience sounds frustrating, especially with a busy family schedule. That kind of charging detour would be a dealbreaker for a lot of people, but certainly isn't the norm with home charging.
For me, though, it’s pretty different. I live between two homes, which are each about 4 or 6 miles from a DC fast charger. If I weren’t getting free charging, I’d just plug in at home and almost never need a DCFC (except for long road trips). For most EV owners with home charging, the DC fast chargers are more like backup or road-trip infrastructure, not part of the daily routine.
Also, the modern apps (like Electrify America’s) and Lucid's built-in nav systems show charger status in real-time i.e. how many stalls are available, if they’re online, etc. That takes a lot of the guesswork out. In a way, it's actually more informative than pulling up to a gas station and finding it unexpectedly closed or all pumps blocked or taken, which has happened to me in places like Glendale, CA.
Honestly, I think a lot of this comes down to familiarity. People who are used to gas might not realize how easy it is to get this info before heading out. Once you're used to it, it's just not a big deal. Sure, you can pull into any gas station in America, but do they all have 100, 91, 76? And are the stall statuses available online?
I challenge you to see how long your commute from home to a gas station is, and compare it to a DCFC commute. Then compaire it to sitting at home drinking a beer while the car charges on the 100 Amp LCHC...